[Jade...was sort of working on steering towards some sort of point here, on this particular track. Natsuno confirms that he indeed isn't immortal, in his consistently blunt and limited sort of fashion over the course of this talk, and that's about all Jade wants to know for the immediate moment anyhow. Because Natsuno's right that there are worse things than death--and his phrasing is most certainly prompting a thought about Rita's current situation too--and that was really going to be the crux of the sticking point here. Jade is inclined to point out, as a reminder, that the common enemy they all face here is confirmed to actively thrive off pain and suffering--that they really all ought to be going out of their way, as prisoners on this ship, to collectively try their best not to give the Captain just that if it can be helped at all--and occasionally that ought to mean at least trying not to be so reckless, even if one happens to have abnormally robust regeneration capabilities. Perhaps even accepting help from others, on occasion, even if you don't think you need it. You know, salient little points like these...
But. There's something that Natsuno says now, phrased in such a way like it's a passing and exasperating sort of detail in the grand scheme of things, and--well, Jade finds himself stuck on that bit all the same, quite despite everything else. He pauses, and frowns a bit, as he plays that sentence back in his head and finds he doesn't quite...understand--]
--Wait. What do you mean, "you can't die on this ship"?
[Natsuno frowns. Somehow he assumed that Jade, with his quick brain and nosy habits, would've heard about it by now. Clarke's unfortunate fall had witnesses - surely word had spread?]
It means death doesn't stick. You wake up the following morning like nothing happened.
[It is a little impressive that Jade's gone this long without actually learning of this yet, isn't it? On an objective sort of level, anyway. But he hadn't been there when Clarke Griffin met her first unceremonious demise bouncing off the side of Jenny's ship, no...and then Rita and Yuri had their run-in with the Captain shortly afterward, and--well, over the course of things, Jade somehow has managed to "thread the needle" where word of mouth might have actually been concerned on this. Which, perhaps, might qualify as some kind of lucky stroke...though 'luck' would generally be applied to rather happier things.
Really, even over the course of the impromptu murderboard discussion they'd shared at the very start of the month, poring over the morbid idea of trapped souls as fuel--somehow, Jade had been continuing to run on the assumption that said souls were snared after an initial death. ...You know, initial. The only kind of death anyone is supposed to have. The only kind of death he's ever actually encountered, up to this point.
The only kind of death he spent nearly ten years trying (and failing) to overturn.
But here Natsuno is, settled across the way with a frown of his own, reiterating what he'd said in even plainer terms. "Death doesn't stick." ...The meaning inherent is obvious at this point, and yet...]
...Like nothing ever happened... [It might parse to Natsuno as a rather uncharacteristic thing, actually, the way Jade lets the answer sit between them in such a leaden fashion; none of the usual swift uptake or sharp quip to acknowledge it, or even so much as a nod to confirm it. In fact, the expression now settling on his face could perhaps best be described as some vague equivalent of a pinching and unhappy confusion, something about the concept clearly just not registering on a fundamental level somehow. (...But it's not that he doesn't understand. It's just--that's--)] --That can't be right. Is this a rumor you've been hearing? I should think...it'd surely be more likely for some sort of intervention to perhaps be taking place, before the moment of death. Some form of healing we've never seen, that--there's-- [Dozens of different alternatives--possible explanations--it's an immediate and knee-jerk sort of rejection, and there's something surprisingly visceral about how they spill into spoken word even before Jade's quite done thinking through them, scattered and incredulous. Something at the back of thought is stirring anyhow, after all, at the implications opening up--implications he does not like, doesn't even want to look at, pressing an audible edge into his tone already.] --Death is not a sticker that simply becomes detached. To truly bring someone back from the dead is impossible.
[That's something he'd never seen from Jade before. Not cheerful sarcasm or the focus of a soldier, but a hint of real passion. Natsuno can't help but let out a soft, almost inaudible huff when Jade says people can't come back from the dead. They're trapped on a ghost ship with people from all across the multiverse, and yet revival is where so many of them draw the line.]
It's not a rumor. [His expression flattens again.] Clarke had an accident. You can ask around if you don't believe me. I waited outside the morgue until Friday took the corpse back to her cabin in the morning. When she woke up, her injuries were all gone.
[It sure is almost as if he's actually feeling a thing about now, isn't it? Considering how utterly even-keeled he tends to be pretty much all the time otherwise...seems the sticking point is revival for a fact, though. Yes, rationally speaking, it probably shouldn't truly be any stranger than any other aspect of this ridiculous ship, and the ridiculous Captain at the helm--people from myriad other worlds, faded spirits serving food, and yet...
And yet.]
That's... [Natsuno isn't a joking sort, of course. Jade may not know him to any terribly thorough extent, but he does know that much...to say nothing of how clear it is that he's entirely serious right now anyhow, in the flatness of his expression and the context of his actual words. A fatal accident he'd witnessed with his own eyes--and the followup that he'd witnessed, too, described now in the same flat and simple sort of way. Objectively, there isn't any reason to actually doubt him here. Objectively, with all else considered--resurrection really could be the case, in this place. But...] As simply as that? With injuries gone as well? And she still remembered the event, even after the fact?
[--He needs to talk to Clarke about this at some point, probably. He needs...to ask around about a lot of things now, no doubt--has this been common knowledge around the ship this entire time? Is Clarke the only one that's died on board so far among this batch of passengers, or have there been others already? ...In some utterly terrible way it does slot morbidly into place next to the other factors of how this whole operation about them is being run. But surely that can't literally be what this is, a revival from death, because if that's true then....
Jade doesn't often run into a conflict quite like this--an internal one quite this acute, so to speak. Logic is most definitely railing against something else about now in thought, though, a bitterness he thought he'd finally put behind himself...and yet here it is rearing up anew, setting in his jaw and stiffening in his shoulders, inadvertently curling his hands into fists in his lap. Confusion is certainly falling away from his features by now, but in its place is something...angry? Almost? It's not even directed at Natsuno necessarily, but clearly more at the concept of this topic overall about now.]
...But that's ridiculous. It couldn't just...be that. Resurrection shouldn't be that simple--it isn't that simple. I should know, I tried--
[--A breath drawn in sharply, cutting that sentence short. Not what he wanted to say out loud. Really, none of this actually warrants saying out loud...not when the only thing to argue with in here right now is Natsuno, who's naturally simply the messenger of such bad news for the moment. There's still a detached and rational part of Jade trying to reign the rest of himself back, and it manifests in a blankness that's promptly overtaking his features now in turn, abrupt in its shift.]
--No. ...My apologies, that was out of turn. [--The joints in his fingers ache. Jade inclines his glance slightly downwards, and tries to open his hands again.] You're certain of what you say, clearly. ...But I find it difficult to reconcile. I suppose...this could only be another feat of the Captain's, if it's truly some form of revival...
[Well. Looks like Natsuno's roommate is harboring some secrets of his own.]
Injuries gone. [Except a kidney, but Natsuno has no way of knowing about it. His tone sharpens.] I didn't ask for details on what she remembers, but she knows what happened.
[Oh, how he'd like to latch onto that I tried and press on. Resurrection is one of the few things still capable of pushing his buttons... but Jade clearly won't talk about it, and Natsuno won't give much in return.
Instead he just sits there with the same inscrutable expression, trying to figure out what he can while divulging as little as possible.]
I know what's it like when people come back wrong. [Ice cold body and a hollow hunger for blood.] What the captain does is different. Toys wouldn't be so entertaining if they broke easily.
[Seems resurrection is a sore spot for the both of them after all, now isn't it? What a coincidence, that. Someone had a sense of humor, when deciding to put an attempted necromancer and a vampire in the same room together, and that's finally coming to a head here--
Or at least, it might have been, if either of them were so inclined to actually talk about it. Jade already kind of hates that he let even that much slip, honestly; Natsuno's entirely correct in the assumption that anything further would be very hard to pry out at this point. But...the topic's still at hand, for better or worse, and...
Broken things. That's just the crux of it, isn't it? Looking at death as an inconvenient break that simply needs fixing. Unbidden and unwanted, the mental image still flickers clearly in his mind's eye as if it were yesterday--Nephry's first torn doll laid out on the snow, and its newly-made replica in his hands, pristine as if nothing had ever happened to it. Surely most anything could be fixed this way? That cold and arrogant sort of thought, running through his head at that time--]
Thinking of people as toys always does seem to be where it starts.
[Jade's expression remains painstakingly blank, and yet the bitterness can't help but seep into those words all the same, something hot and jagged welling up in the back of his throat. Another breath, even and careful, pushing it back down. He shakes his head, at nothing in particular.]
Quite in line with everything else, here. No better tool for prolonging suffering, I'd imagine. --It shouldn't be done. Not here, not anywhere else. [If it is being done--if it can be done at all...no, all the same, that fact remains. Even if--he wonders how--and that's a thought he doesn't want to acknowledge at all. Yet even as Jade tries not to look at it, his attention can't help but refocus on Natsuno all the same, mouth pressed into a thin line of a frown as his words properly sink in.] ...You mean to say that people have come back wrong in your own world?
Sounds unbelievable, right? [Natsuno's been so desensitized to horror and weirdness over the last several months, it's hard to remember how freak out he was at the time, thinking he was just imagining his dead classmate's steps outside his window.] People get sick and die. Then some of them rise a few days later. They don't breath, their heart doesn't beat, but they still walk around.
[It all comes down to arrogance and selfishness. In one world, an unethical science is created because a young man thought he can fix anything. In another world, a community destroys itself because an immortal girl wanted an undead village to ease up her loneliness.]
Unbelievable, yes--to put it lightly...such a thing is unheard of in any form, where I'm from. ['Impossible', more like, yet again--but Natsuno supplies the details readily, brusque though they might be, and--well, it just keeps getting harder to retain much in the way of deniability all around, with all this. Jade shifts unhappily in his seat, as a temptation to rise and pace or just...outright leave the room flickers, briefly, but--no. He really...ought to try and actually process this. If it's something they're going to actually have to deal with here, sooner or later. Besides, there's now other worlds to account for too now; even setting aside the Captain's especially absurd capabilities, this was...bound to be a phenomena somewhere on a statistical sort of level, looking at it practically.
But it's still terribly difficult to keep looking at it practically. Part of Jade very much wants to just drop this topic altogether, but another part--one he'd thought he'd finally laid to rest once and for all--rears its head all the same, and can't help but analyze Natsuno's words all the same with an awful and burgeoning sort of curiosity. The implications therein...] The way you phrase it, that almost sounds as if they became possessed of some bizarre illness reanimating them. Yet not quite in the same state they were before...that certainly couldn't be the same phenomena happening here. Such a thing as that, though...has anyone in your world studied how that could--
[No, no, stop that, don't start thinking about--]
--Hm. No, disregard that. It's irrelevant. [Practically casting out for anything to sidetrack himself, at this point--some portion of thought entirely divorced from the rest of the conflicted mess currently arresting the rest of Jade's head does wonder, very briefly...] ...But, I take it this "resurrecting sickness" doesn't necessarily have any sort of tie to your own inhuman condition at present, does it?
[It's a rough guess, but just going by Natsuno's own admissions up to this point--he doesn't seem to quite fit the description of such 'revenants' himself. Jade's pretty sure he still breathes, after all...and going by skin tone alone, he'd probably even still find a pulse on Natsuno if one were sought out. Natsuno had also confirmed he wasn't immortal either, still quite capable of dying himself; with such limited context to work with, Jade's assuming this wouldn't be the case for these resurrected people in his world that he mentions now...]
[That is a bald-faced lie. In a way, his kind are the intended outcome of this "disease", with regular shiki being those who failed to survive the full transformation.
But Natsuno has absolutely no intention of even hinting at a link between himself and the "revenants", because despite of his genuine efforts to control himself, Jade is way too invested in this. Natsuno doesn't want to become someone's science project, thank you very much.
(And then Ebalon's gonna end up wanting to dissect him anyway, RIP)]
[(Ebalon out there just cheerfully leaping directly into the mad scientist shoes Jade's been trying to abandon for years SMH....hey at least Natsuno doesn't have that guy as a roommate!!)
A bald-faced lie indeed, but not one Jade could refute right now, even if he were aware of the dishonesty--which he isn't, for once, some fairly effective combo between Natsuno's own pokerface and Jade's current thorough distraction with the topic of resurrection in general. Instead he's nodding a bit, even as his thoughts visibly seem to be wandering elsewhere already--several different places, really, half of them demanding he actively place his own mental roadblocks in the way.]
You are, yes--so I've noticed indeed. [Quite alive enough to find an impaling piece of sign very disagreeable, and still bleed too--even if the blood in question had still been acting...differently. Either way, the notion that there might in fact be multiple different supernatural things afoot in Natsuno's world isn't exactly something Jade can refute, seeing as a whole world does tend to have a lot going on at a given time.
...And he's still curious. He's still curious, and he hates that he's still curious, and in the end it's this visceral sort of internal disgust at himself that has Jade actively trying to break off that tangent anyway now, regardless of how much other parts of thought might protest. He shakes his head, at length, as if this might somehow help knock those thoughts aside. (It doesn't, of course.)] ...Regardless. All this being said, then--even if death may not seem to have consequences, here...surely we can still both agree that it's something we'd prefer to avoid when at all possible, yes?
[They'd been on another topic before all this, after all--the topic of Natsuno's inhuman resilience, and how it ought to be treated going forward--valiantly, Jade's trying to focus back on that now, whether Natsuno wants to be helpful about it or not.]
I'm sure your unnatural constitution makes it quite a bit easier to be reckless. But if you're going to be leaping to reckless decisions directly in front of me, I'll have to address them accordingly all the same. ...The captain draws his strength from suffering, after all--and you do still seem quite capable of experiencing that.
You'll have to "address them accordingly?" That almost sounds like you're threatening me.
[That's right. When an adult tries to responsible and tell a teen NOT to get themselves killed or mutilated, that's considered a threat.]
Look, I'm not trying to risk anyone else. [And that's the closest Natsuno will come to agree to being a little more careful. Of course, he will still act recklessly if he thinks the situation calls for it... just out Jade's sight.] But pain is just pain. I don't like getting hurt, but it's not suffering.
[Seeing people you care about get hurt, being trapped in the cruel whims of others, carrying on even though you died twice... that's what suffering is.]
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come_sailaway
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But. There's something that Natsuno says now, phrased in such a way like it's a passing and exasperating sort of detail in the grand scheme of things, and--well, Jade finds himself stuck on that bit all the same, quite despite everything else. He pauses, and frowns a bit, as he plays that sentence back in his head and finds he doesn't quite...understand--]
--Wait. What do you mean, "you can't die on this ship"?
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It means death doesn't stick. You wake up the following morning like nothing happened.
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Really, even over the course of the impromptu
murderboarddiscussion they'd shared at the very start of the month, poring over the morbid idea of trapped souls as fuel--somehow, Jade had been continuing to run on the assumption that said souls were snared after an initial death. ...You know, initial. The only kind of death anyone is supposed to have. The only kind of death he's ever actually encountered, up to this point.The only kind of death he spent nearly ten years trying (and failing) to overturn.
But here Natsuno is, settled across the way with a frown of his own, reiterating what he'd said in even plainer terms. "Death doesn't stick." ...The meaning inherent is obvious at this point, and yet...]
...Like nothing ever happened... [It might parse to Natsuno as a rather uncharacteristic thing, actually, the way Jade lets the answer sit between them in such a leaden fashion; none of the usual swift uptake or sharp quip to acknowledge it, or even so much as a nod to confirm it. In fact, the expression now settling on his face could perhaps best be described as some vague equivalent of a pinching and unhappy confusion, something about the concept clearly just not registering on a fundamental level somehow. (...But it's not that he doesn't understand. It's just--that's--)] --That can't be right. Is this a rumor you've been hearing? I should think...it'd surely be more likely for some sort of intervention to perhaps be taking place, before the moment of death. Some form of healing we've never seen, that--there's-- [Dozens of different alternatives--possible explanations--it's an immediate and knee-jerk sort of rejection, and there's something surprisingly visceral about how they spill into spoken word even before Jade's quite done thinking through them, scattered and incredulous. Something at the back of thought is stirring anyhow, after all, at the implications opening up--implications he does not like, doesn't even want to look at, pressing an audible edge into his tone already.] --Death is not a sticker that simply becomes detached. To truly bring someone back from the dead is impossible.
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It's not a rumor. [His expression flattens again.] Clarke had an accident. You can ask around if you don't believe me. I waited outside the morgue until Friday took the corpse back to her cabin in the morning. When she woke up, her injuries were all gone.
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And yet.]
That's... [Natsuno isn't a joking sort, of course. Jade may not know him to any terribly thorough extent, but he does know that much...to say nothing of how clear it is that he's entirely serious right now anyhow, in the flatness of his expression and the context of his actual words. A fatal accident he'd witnessed with his own eyes--and the followup that he'd witnessed, too, described now in the same flat and simple sort of way. Objectively, there isn't any reason to actually doubt him here. Objectively, with all else considered--resurrection really could be the case, in this place. But...] As simply as that? With injuries gone as well? And she still remembered the event, even after the fact?
[--He needs to talk to Clarke about this at some point, probably. He needs...to ask around about a lot of things now, no doubt--has this been common knowledge around the ship this entire time? Is Clarke the only one that's died on board so far among this batch of passengers, or have there been others already? ...In some utterly terrible way it does slot morbidly into place next to the other factors of how this whole operation about them is being run. But surely that can't literally be what this is, a revival from death, because if that's true then....
Jade doesn't often run into a conflict quite like this--an internal one quite this acute, so to speak. Logic is most definitely railing against something else about now in thought, though, a bitterness he thought he'd finally put behind himself...and yet here it is rearing up anew, setting in his jaw and stiffening in his shoulders, inadvertently curling his hands into fists in his lap. Confusion is certainly falling away from his features by now, but in its place is something...angry? Almost? It's not even directed at Natsuno necessarily, but clearly more at the concept of this topic overall about now.]
...But that's ridiculous. It couldn't just...be that. Resurrection shouldn't be that simple--it isn't that simple. I should know, I tried--
[--A breath drawn in sharply, cutting that sentence short. Not what he wanted to say out loud. Really, none of this actually warrants saying out loud...not when the only thing to argue with in here right now is Natsuno, who's naturally simply the messenger of such bad news for the moment. There's still a detached and rational part of Jade trying to reign the rest of himself back, and it manifests in a blankness that's promptly overtaking his features now in turn, abrupt in its shift.]
--No. ...My apologies, that was out of turn. [--The joints in his fingers ache. Jade inclines his glance slightly downwards, and tries to open his hands again.] You're certain of what you say, clearly. ...But I find it difficult to reconcile. I suppose...this could only be another feat of the Captain's, if it's truly some form of revival...
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Injuries gone. [Except a kidney, but Natsuno has no way of knowing about it. His tone sharpens.] I didn't ask for details on what she remembers, but she knows what happened.
[Oh, how he'd like to latch onto that I tried and press on. Resurrection is one of the few things still capable of pushing his buttons... but Jade clearly won't talk about it, and Natsuno won't give much in return.
Instead he just sits there with the same inscrutable expression, trying to figure out what he can while divulging as little as possible.]
I know what's it like when people come back wrong. [Ice cold body and a hollow hunger for blood.] What the captain does is different. Toys wouldn't be so entertaining if they broke easily.
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Or at least, it might have been, if either of them were so inclined to actually talk about it. Jade already kind of hates that he let even that much slip, honestly; Natsuno's entirely correct in the assumption that anything further would be very hard to pry out at this point. But...the topic's still at hand, for better or worse, and...
Broken things. That's just the crux of it, isn't it? Looking at death as an inconvenient break that simply needs fixing. Unbidden and unwanted, the mental image still flickers clearly in his mind's eye as if it were yesterday--Nephry's first torn doll laid out on the snow, and its newly-made replica in his hands, pristine as if nothing had ever happened to it. Surely most anything could be fixed this way? That cold and arrogant sort of thought, running through his head at that time--]
Thinking of people as toys always does seem to be where it starts.
[Jade's expression remains painstakingly blank, and yet the bitterness can't help but seep into those words all the same, something hot and jagged welling up in the back of his throat. Another breath, even and careful, pushing it back down. He shakes his head, at nothing in particular.]
Quite in line with everything else, here. No better tool for prolonging suffering, I'd imagine. --It shouldn't be done. Not here, not anywhere else. [If it is being done--if it can be done at all...no, all the same, that fact remains. Even if--he wonders how--and that's a thought he doesn't want to acknowledge at all. Yet even as Jade tries not to look at it, his attention can't help but refocus on Natsuno all the same, mouth pressed into a thin line of a frown as his words properly sink in.] ...You mean to say that people have come back wrong in your own world?
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[It all comes down to arrogance and selfishness. In one world, an unethical science is created because a young man thought he can fix anything. In another world, a community destroys itself because an immortal girl wanted an undead village to ease up her loneliness.]
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But it's still terribly difficult to keep looking at it practically. Part of Jade very much wants to just drop this topic altogether, but another part--one he'd thought he'd finally laid to rest once and for all--rears its head all the same, and can't help but analyze Natsuno's words all the same with an awful and burgeoning sort of curiosity. The implications therein...] The way you phrase it, that almost sounds as if they became possessed of some bizarre illness reanimating them. Yet not quite in the same state they were before...that certainly couldn't be the same phenomena happening here. Such a thing as that, though...has anyone in your world studied how that could--
[No, no, stop that, don't start thinking about--]
--Hm. No, disregard that. It's irrelevant. [Practically casting out for anything to sidetrack himself, at this point--some portion of thought entirely divorced from the rest of the conflicted mess currently arresting the rest of Jade's head does wonder, very briefly...] ...But, I take it this "resurrecting sickness" doesn't necessarily have any sort of tie to your own inhuman condition at present, does it?
[It's a rough guess, but just going by Natsuno's own admissions up to this point--he doesn't seem to quite fit the description of such 'revenants' himself. Jade's pretty sure he still breathes, after all...and going by skin tone alone, he'd probably even still find a pulse on Natsuno if one were sought out. Natsuno had also confirmed he wasn't immortal either, still quite capable of dying himself; with such limited context to work with, Jade's assuming this wouldn't be the case for these resurrected people in his world that he mentions now...]
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[That is a bald-faced lie. In a way, his kind are the intended outcome of this "disease", with regular shiki being those who failed to survive the full transformation.
But Natsuno has absolutely no intention of even hinting at a link between himself and the "revenants", because despite of his genuine efforts to control himself, Jade is way too invested in this. Natsuno doesn't want to become someone's science project, thank you very much.
(And then Ebalon's gonna end up wanting to dissect him anyway, RIP)]I'm alive, in case you haven't noticed.
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(Ebalon out there just cheerfully leaping directly into the mad scientist shoes Jade's been trying to abandon for years SMH....hey at least Natsuno doesn't have that guy as a roommate!!)A bald-faced lie indeed, but not one Jade could refute right now, even if he were aware of the dishonesty--which he isn't, for once, some fairly effective combo between Natsuno's own pokerface and Jade's current thorough distraction with the topic of resurrection in general. Instead he's nodding a bit, even as his thoughts visibly seem to be wandering elsewhere already--several different places, really, half of them demanding he actively place his own mental roadblocks in the way.]
You are, yes--so I've noticed indeed. [Quite alive enough to find an impaling piece of sign very disagreeable, and still bleed too--even if the blood in question had still been acting...differently. Either way, the notion that there might in fact be multiple different supernatural things afoot in Natsuno's world isn't exactly something Jade can refute, seeing as a whole world does tend to have a lot going on at a given time.
...And he's still curious. He's still curious, and he hates that he's still curious, and in the end it's this visceral sort of internal disgust at himself that has Jade actively trying to break off that tangent anyway now, regardless of how much other parts of thought might protest. He shakes his head, at length, as if this might somehow help knock those thoughts aside. (It doesn't, of course.)] ...Regardless. All this being said, then--even if death may not seem to have consequences, here...surely we can still both agree that it's something we'd prefer to avoid when at all possible, yes?
[They'd been on another topic before all this, after all--the topic of Natsuno's inhuman resilience, and how it ought to be treated going forward--valiantly, Jade's trying to focus back on that now, whether Natsuno wants to be helpful about it or not.]
I'm sure your unnatural constitution makes it quite a bit easier to be reckless. But if you're going to be leaping to reckless decisions directly in front of me, I'll have to address them accordingly all the same. ...The captain draws his strength from suffering, after all--and you do still seem quite capable of experiencing that.
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[That's right. When an adult tries to responsible and tell a teen NOT to get themselves killed or mutilated, that's considered a threat.]
Look, I'm not trying to risk anyone else. [And that's the closest Natsuno will come to agree to being a little more careful. Of course, he will still act recklessly if he thinks the situation calls for it... just out Jade's sight.] But pain is just pain. I don't like getting hurt, but it's not suffering.
[Seeing people you care about get hurt, being trapped in the cruel whims of others, carrying on even though you died twice... that's what suffering is.]