i have a friend looking into it. she witnessed this inside one of the memory cracks. i had to provide context to her, about who jenny is and where her ship came from... it's strange. being here an entire year, knowing as much as we do. how few of the newer passengers seem interested in knowing anything that's led to this moment.
yes, i think we're freely giving up an extreme excess of our energy, and there's no telling what it's going to use it for. but it's hard to get anyone to listen. to stop spending so much time within them. i read the etiquette book... they seem more concerned with the rules of sleeping with each other.
okay. i do not know how to perform magic. with the exception of my ability to fly, which is rather simplistic. i do not know the complex rules of various magic systems. but i do know about the laws of physics, about energy and chaos. and i figured out quite a lot before others have because i pay attention and lack proper hobbies. a lot of it is simple logic, understanding paradoxes and applying principles ive learned elsewhere. i cant do magic, but i know theory.
and i understand a bit how the captain thinks. because we have spent plenty of time together, chatting. and we are similar in some ways, or at least he's willing to show that side to me. so yes, i do think of him as a friend. one that i want to protect and am scared of losing. but i fear his greatest threat is himself. ive always had difficulty with... making those choices for others. i dont like to infringe upon anyone's autonomy, to say that i know better. but it's hard to believe that the choice he made at his worst is the right one. and he's in a position where he's incapable or believes himself so of changing anything. but he isn't fighting against us, hasn't requested us to stop.
he expressed he's only worried because skulduggery is. that the only future he wants is one with skulduggery in it. theyre both so entwined that i'm scared if i make the wrong move, i'm going to lose them both. and i hate to admit the selfish desire that if i had to choose, between them and most of this ship... but that's why i need somebody like you to know too.
Perhaps equal parts a lack of interest and a lack of decent ways to disseminate information and prove it verified, all told...another issue that's likely going to need looking into once we get past this more immediate reality-ending sort of hurdle. The best that can be done for now is comprehensively answering questions as they're asked of us. I hope your friend's endeavor in researching the matter further bears fruit. Someone I ought to speak with sometime myself, you think?
That ""etiquette"" guide certainly is an interesting addition to the library. Had a glance at it myself...the spirit is well-intentioned, but there's going to be no convincing those more attached to what they find in the rifts. Homesickness and some illusion of escape are powerful things, I imagine. [Jade has been well aware from the start, of course, that there's no point getting too attached to what's found there. But not everyone can manage such separation either, and it's no easy thing. No, he can't really judge, when he still found himself struck by a certain level of homesickness too in some memories...] I wouldn't be surprised if the sentimental appeal is part of the design. Quite the honey to put on a flytrap for collecting emotional fuel, after all...
Choices made at one's worst state of mind are never the right ones, for oneself. I don't think it's imposing upon anyone's autonomy, to simply know something like that to be true. [Goodness only knows how the choices he made at the lowest point of his life were incredibly bad ones in every way possible. As far as Jade's concerned, this is just an objective fact.] If the captain hasn't yet objected so far, that's likely the most direct confirmation you're going to get from him, that he's receptive to the investigation. Even if it's only for Skulduggery's sake in the end. ...Though you're not wrong that there's a certain level of precariousness in that fact, too. It certainly is troubling when the friends we choose get entrenched in situations like this, isn't it?
You already know which thing I'd prefer you to choose, I imagine, if you do end up presented with a choice between those two and the rest of the ship. So I'm not about to harp on that. Especially as I truly do appreciate that you're willing to inform me of these thoughts of yours. ...Any one person is liable to stagger under the sort of pressure you're placing on yourself with these sorts of hypotheticals, though. There's always the possibility that the burden of choice will not be completely yours, you know...
But I take it you still feel fully responsible for this all the same, do you?
no subject
yes, i think we're freely giving up an extreme excess of our energy, and there's no telling what it's going to use it for. but it's hard to get anyone to listen. to stop spending so much time within them. i read the etiquette book... they seem more concerned with the rules of sleeping with each other.
okay. i do not know how to perform magic. with the exception of my ability to fly, which is rather simplistic. i do not know the complex rules of various magic systems. but i do know about the laws of physics, about energy and chaos. and i figured out quite a lot before others have because i pay attention and lack proper hobbies. a lot of it is simple logic, understanding paradoxes and applying principles ive learned elsewhere. i cant do magic, but i know theory.
and i understand a bit how the captain thinks. because we have spent plenty of time together, chatting. and we are similar in some ways, or at least he's willing to show that side to me. so yes, i do think of him as a friend. one that i want to protect and am scared of losing. but i fear his greatest threat is himself. ive always had difficulty with... making those choices for others. i dont like to infringe upon anyone's autonomy, to say that i know better. but it's hard to believe that the choice he made at his worst is the right one. and he's in a position where he's incapable or believes himself so of changing anything. but he isn't fighting against us, hasn't requested us to stop.
he expressed he's only worried because skulduggery is. that the only future he wants is one with skulduggery in it. theyre both so entwined that i'm scared if i make the wrong move, i'm going to lose them both. and i hate to admit the selfish desire that if i had to choose, between them and most of this ship... but that's why i need somebody like you to know too.
no subject
That ""etiquette"" guide certainly is an interesting addition to the library. Had a glance at it myself...the spirit is well-intentioned, but there's going to be no convincing those more attached to what they find in the rifts. Homesickness and some illusion of escape are powerful things, I imagine. [Jade has been well aware from the start, of course, that there's no point getting too attached to what's found there. But not everyone can manage such separation either, and it's no easy thing. No, he can't really judge, when he still found himself struck by a certain level of homesickness too in some memories...] I wouldn't be surprised if the sentimental appeal is part of the design. Quite the honey to put on a flytrap for collecting emotional fuel, after all...
[A bit of a pause here, half to drink more coffee and half to stare in a blankly frowning sort of way out of the café and into the Promenade proper for a moment. ...Plenty to to chew on, the rest of this.]
Choices made at one's worst state of mind are never the right ones, for oneself. I don't think it's imposing upon anyone's autonomy, to simply know something like that to be true. [Goodness only knows how the choices he made at the lowest point of his life were incredibly bad ones in every way possible. As far as Jade's concerned, this is just an objective fact.] If the captain hasn't yet objected so far, that's likely the most direct confirmation you're going to get from him, that he's receptive to the investigation. Even if it's only for Skulduggery's sake in the end. ...Though you're not wrong that there's a certain level of precariousness in that fact, too. It certainly is troubling when the friends we choose get entrenched in situations like this, isn't it?
You already know which thing I'd prefer you to choose, I imagine, if you do end up presented with a choice between those two and the rest of the ship. So I'm not about to harp on that. Especially as I truly do appreciate that you're willing to inform me of these thoughts of yours. ...Any one person is liable to stagger under the sort of pressure you're placing on yourself with these sorts of hypotheticals, though. There's always the possibility that the burden of choice will not be completely yours, you know...
But I take it you still feel fully responsible for this all the same, do you?